I need a journey of self improvement. I admit I don’t know what that is right now. There is nothing worse than not knowing and trying to get your $hit together. I want to become someone better.
I’m a shy and introvert guy. When I was as a kid I preferred to keep to myself. The only time I feel outgoing and social is when I go out to enjoy a beer, get a bit pissed or when I’m with people I’ve known for a long time.
I enjoy the quiet life, I couldn’t cope with fame or celebrity fuss. Attention seeking means you have to keep up a front, engage everybody and pretend to be someone you’re not. You have to live for everyone else. I wouldn’t want that lifestyle or pressure.
However for some reason I feel too stressed out suffering headaches, stomach ache and pent-up tension. I don’t know where the anxiety has come from, I’m guessing it’s from loneliness, money troubles, my demanding boss and other relationship problems.
There’s a lot on my mind. I think this job and my last relationship was the wrong move. Us young guys worry about stuff too. Our bodies, our health, our careers, finding love. It’s not all wild parties and thinking with our dicks.
For the first time, I’m feeling the grip of life and independence of being on my own. I’m in a moody grump or just flat lining with no highs or lows?
I think it’s harder to be happy man in the modern technology age. There is too much too fast. Life should be a chilled in your 20’s. The human race seems poorer than ever. Wages are frozen, costs are up and don’t even mention buying a house unless you can sell your liver on the black market. In real terms we earn less than our parents did at their age.
Life for our parents was easier and more carefree. In the eighties my parents said things changed into a branding and consumerism culture. Then there’s the terror killing sprees on the news every other day. It depressing stuff. How do you stay optimistic in the middle of a reality check?
So what do I want? What does happiness and success mean in your twenties? What sort of things makes you feel good, bad and worry too much?
You might feel you don’t measure up in the trouser department. Don’t worry about your penis size or then lengths and widths you see on the porn sets. Sex and love making will come with experience. You might want to also consider where you put it and always take precautions, be safe and carry a couple of condoms in your wallet at all times when for when you get lucky.
You don’t have to find “the one” in your twenties. Enjoy the dating game and make the most of your “single me time”. You can settle down, get married and have kids in all in due time. For now experiment.
If you are worried about getting fired or losing your job then update that CV and start looking for something else. Earning more is always nice. As your career develops, you get promotion you’ll boost your income along the way.
I agree things aren’t exactly going my way. I’m finding it hard to relax and unwind at night without a beer. I feel like my life is out of my control. I need to figure out how to be happy and tranquil.
I have to fend for myself. I have no solutions to offer myself right now other than to pause, take breath and have some timeout to lower the stress levels. Getting more sleep would probably help too.
At least I’m not going bald, grey and having to shave my head yet. The assignment hasn’t gone wrong. I live for the mystery and the answers. Maybe I shouldn’t strive and push for someone or something better. I battle against change or the kind of person I want to be. Right now I just show up on here as I am and how I feel.
