Pain, pain go away come back another day! Following on from my Long Distance Relationships and Fading Love post it’s been a few months since I broke up with my girlfriend. We’d been together three years and it was my first real serious relationship.
As you may know my finances and personal life have been seriously messed up over the last few months. I haven’t blogged, tweeted or felt alive for the last few months. I needed some timeout.
My recent breakup and credit card bill has hit me hard. My student debt levels are not healthy and set to grow each year. Just like money, relationships need to be managed to be maintained. I may have been too honest about what needed to change between us for the relationship to last.
Experiencing a break up is a bad thing to get through. When it happens it hits you hard especially if it takes you by surprise. You not sure how you’ll deal within until it happens to you.
You are probably feeling down, upset and alone. Even angry that the relationship is over. Keeping your mood up and broken heart intact is extremely painful. Missing someone does that to you it makes you vulnerable and your mind can do a runner.
Adjusting to single life feels strange and since the split I’ve had a few months to cry, reflex on the relationship and think about where it went wrong. Looking back many factors were involved. I think it was the distance involved and a lack of trust we had in each other.
You can try having sometime apart but that won’t solve any niggling doubts. I wish the break-up never happened and emotions are still raw. Trying to remain “friends” doesn’t always work out. Arguments may still flare up as you try to come to terms with the situation or blame each other for mistakes and bad feelings.
Give yourself time and space. If you aren’t coping too well then speak to family and friends or an independent support group.
Don’t rush straight into any other relationship immediately after a break-up. Rebounds aren’t helpful and could be just a way to bury or ignore your feelings. Make sure you get over one bad relationship before committing to another one.
As people reject your love, your ideas, your work, your beliefs at least I know in my heart I tried by best, yet I guess you can only change what’s under your control. The rest you have to let go.
