I’ve haven’t figured it out yet. That secret formula to been a grown up. It’s probably in a book I haven’t read or maybe I was hungover and off sick the day they gave that lecture. Life is far easier as a kid. You can use your imagination to live your dreams in an afternoon. When you hit your 20’s reality suddenly bites.
I’ve “legally” being a grown up from age 18. In adulthood you expect things to work out, get better. No one can tell you what to do, you can vote, drink alcohol and sign important documents like a tenancy agreement.
Being grownup isn’t that cool or wonderful because you have to make your own decisions and take responsibly for the outcome. That dream job isn’t what you thought, you’re single, lonely with no love interest, dear friends get promotion and move away, your finances are a mess and screwed by debt, the flat is a bombsite, you have to hold down a job and then pretend life is going well on social media to keep up appearances.
You probably feel it wasn’t supposed to be this way. They is even have a name for this. It’s called a Quarter Life Crisis – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis.
When you look at the goals you planned to accomplish at by age 25 it’s likely to be disappointing. You aren’t the CEO of the company, a millionaire playboy, happily married with 2 kids or playing professional football.
You expected being grownup to be something different, the time of your life. Instead it’s all stress and balancing relationships with people and things you love and hate. Life is tougher. It turns out we are expected to multitask and balance everything.
We try our best but it is just not possible……
How can we be so perfect and compete with our hero’s and the myths we see in the media and our old childhood dreams of what we thought our life’s would turn into?
How can you stay positive, look on the bright side when we can’t even hit the piss pot? How can we take back control of our lives, meet our ambitions and stop this feeling of failure, of not meeting our own expectations of adult life?
We put too much pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out and have our lives mapped out and on track by 25. I’ve discovered that’s a load of bollocks. Anxiety and insecurity are part of the deal. You can’t plan the rest of your life in an afternoon like you did when you were aged 8.
You might meet the woman of your dreams at the restaurant…..
Or you might not.
It’s OK if you’re single and don’t have a partner yet. Being single isn’t such a bad thing. You don’t have to find “the one” in your twenties. The wild sex and relationship goals can wait a while.
Be patient. Be grateful you don’t know what’s going to happen or life would be very dull. It’s all unknown and it’s natural to fear the unknown.
If you want to get through your quarter life crisis simply admit you have no idea how to be a grownup right now. Lap it up. You’re still learning. You haven’t figured out your life just yet. Don’t panic neither have I. I’m as clueless, frustrated and lost as you are.
I like the idea of making your own path. What makes it hard for people in their twenties trying to follow their passions is you can’t be true to yourself if you don’t know who that is yet.
There are ways to tell when you’ve become an adult. You have to look after yourself, look after others, try bring some order to the chaos and do your own dusting. There are no tidy answers. Twenty-something adult life is messy, we can all feel lost. Sometimes I feel grown up sometimes I’m a immature spoiled little brat.
This website started out of student boredom and loneliness, as it has grow so have I. You’re not grown-up until you been around the block, experienced a little of life’s challenges. Don’t treat it as a setback because you feel you’re not moving forward.
Obstacles and pain are a part of life, yet you can grow from it. You’ll need to make some changes and choices in your life. You can make 20 Changes in 20’s whatever age you are. And while being young and stupid is always easier, being older and still being stupid will bring the same results no matter what age you are.
Please be patient with yourself and you’ll find out who you are and what you really want.
